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Bill Clinton’s Dior Dress Goes Back in the Closet

In Bill Clinton, Election 2008, Fun Stuff, Hillary Clinton, Humor, Political Humor on July 9, 2008 at 9:41 pm

Another hilarious parody from the Onion:

After months of tirelessly supporting his wife on the campaign trail, devoted spouse and former president Bill Clinton breathed a resigned sigh Monday and carefully folded the charcoal silk, fitted sheath dress he had hoped to wear as first lady during next January’s inauguration and placed it back in its beautiful box.

The 61-year-old Clinton, who has appeared on the covers of both Time and Newsweek and has recently been lauded for his work as an outspoken advocate for human rights, purchased the Christian Dior gown earlier this year after wife Hillary announced her bid for the presidency. Though he has promised to stand by her until rival Barack Obama is officially named the Democratic nominee in August, Clinton told friends that he “could not bear” to look at the dress any longer.

“A beautiful gown like this shouldn’t be wasted on any but the most special of occasions,” said Clinton, who, before packing the garment away, spent a quiet moment running his fingers over the expert stitching and delicate cascade of ruffles. “No. This dress deserves to be worn by a real first lady.”

After slowly tying the original silk bow around the box and clutching it to his chest for 45 seconds, the former world leader gently placed the dress inside his so-called “first lady hope chest.” Sources close to the Clintons have confirmed that the chest includes items the 42nd president had planned to bring with him to a Hillary-led White House, among them a pair of unworn white satin gloves, some hand-blown glass Christmas ornaments, a pewter locket bearing a portrait of his mother, a pressed daisy, two pearl drop earrings, and a handful of wallpaper and fabric swatches.

“My, my, would you just look at this—all dressed up and no place to go,” said Clinton, removing a ruby brooch from a small box marked “Final Iraq Pullout.” “I suppose the American people want better for their first lady than some pie-eyed boy from Arkansas with a head full of dreams and all the grace of a peeled potato. I only hope Michelle [Obama] or Cindy [Hensley McCain] will have the courage to change those hideous drapes in the Lincoln Bedroom.”

Can you just see him? ;-)

It goes on quite a bit more, but worth the laugh. Read the whole “article” here.

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