Political Science Graduate Humor

For all my fellow political science graduates 🙂

The Nightmare Ticket: Clinton, McCain, Obama

From The Onion:

After nearly a year of verbal attacks and negative campaign ads, the nominees announced that, for the good of the country, they were willing to push their differences to the forefront and grant the American people the ticket they’ve been dreading all along.

“No other ticket is capable of rallying this nation around a clearer, more unified message of chaos and hopelessness,” the candidates said in unison from three separate podiums, each adorned with its own American flag arrangement and personal message. “Together, we will lead this nation into the future—a future where absolute deadlock over even the most minute decisions and total inefficiency on matters of the war, the economy, and the environment will launch a bold new age of confusion and social decay. For America, the only choice is [indecipherable]!”

The candidates said they had not yet decided who would fill the offices of president, vice president, and a new post the nominees are calling “the middle president.” They did, however, confirm that each would choose his or her own full cabinet, would be able to veto any bills the others sign into law, and would reserve the right to cast the tie-breaking, tie-making, and tie-rebreaking votes in the Senate.

“This nightmare ticket presents the American people with an unprecedented lack of opportunity in 2008,” Washington Post columnist Richard Cohen wrote Tuesday. “For just one vote, citizens will get four years of McCain’s brilliant temper, the incredible inexperience of Barack Obama, and the powerful two-headed monster of Hillary and Bill Clinton.”

“It will be very exciting to see what they’re capable of destroying, ” Cohen added.

Hmmm….. 😉

Sam Graves: What Were You Thinking?

Missouri GOP Rep. Sam Graves’ campaign ad, released last week, blasts Democratic opponent Kay Barnes, former Kansas City Mayor, for her “San Fransisco Values” and liberal backing by Nancy Pelosi. S.F. Values? What was this guy thinking? The ad–the message and the ridiculous dancers–is horrible and only proves that this guy must be either a homophobe or an idiot (I say both) to approve an ad like this. Sad…

Graves’ campaign ad:

Barnes’ campaign ad response:

Graduation Hangover

With multiple trips to and from the airport, last minute scurries to Macy’s for a graduation outfit, and absolutely no rest for the weary, I’m STILL nursing a graduation hangover. Oh, my head…

I am officially a University of St. Thomas graduate with a B.A. in Political Science and minor in Theology!

Family from Oregon and California made this trip, including my father who has not flown on a plane since 1995. My son and his girlfriend came from Linfield College and my husband’s parents came from Menlo Park. Of course my son, Matt and my wonderful husband were here to keep picking me up off the ground and helping me get through the chaos.

So…

All my thanks and love to my family and friends who have helped me get through the last few years. It hasn’t been easy balancing school, homework, multiple jobs, family, and sanity; I’ve wanted to throw in the towel several times. Everyone has been so supportive and I thank each and every one of you.

As for my professors, you rock! I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to sit in front of you daily these last couple of years. Not only have you inspired me, but you have shown me the importance of a higher education and what a wonderful tool it can be to inspire others.

I have received so many emails, cards, and Facebook wall postings telling me that I have set the example of the saying, “If you put your mind and heart into what you want, you can accomplish anything.”

AMEN.

I look forward to this type of hangover again in two years (Master’s Degree here I come!!!) 😀

Family, Friends, and Professors:

Obama Brings Record Crowds to Oregon

Being an Oregonian true and true (I’m a Texas transplant), I had to post on Barack Obama’s speech Sunday in front of a record breaking crowd of people in Portland, Oregon. He criticized John McCain on social security, lobbyists, and foreign policy. Obama ended out his week of criticisms and campaigning in the Rose City.

The Los Angeles Times reported that Obama drew a roaring crowd of 75,000 (another 15,000 couldn’t get in)– the biggest of his presidential campaign, and equivalent to one-sixth of Portland’s population — to an afternoon rally in a park along the Willamette River here. The size of the turnout served as a reminder that Obama is strongly favored to win Tuesday in Oregon, a state whose voters — comparatively well-educated and liberal — appear tailor-made for him.

Today he spoke in Billings, Montana where he said that voters should be concerned that “after nearly three decades in Washington, John McCain can’t see or won’t acknowledge what’s obvious to all of us here today — that lobbyists aren’t just part of the system in Washington, they’re part of the problem.” He also defended McCain’s remarks about Obama’s “inexperience and reckless judgment” in regards to Iran.

Kentucky and Oregon hold their primaries tomorrow. The latest polls from Real Clear Politics show Obama leading in Oregon and Clinton leading in Kentucky.

Additionally, Obama also picked up another endorsement today: Sen. Robert C. Byrd, 90, a former member of the Ku Klux Klan and a one-time opponent of civil rights legislation. Pretty interesting when you consider that if elected, Obama will be the first black president.

In the picture above, Petey and I are watching Obama’s speech in Montana. 🙂

UPDATE: VIDEO ADDED-

John Edwards Endorses Barack Obama

John Edwards is expected to endorse Barack Obama at a rally this evening in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Having Edwards’ endorsement may help Obama with the voting public that he is lacking–the white working class which has been in favor of Hillary Clinton.

From CNN:

An endorsement from Edwards, who ran as vice president on Sen. John Kerry’s ticket in the 2004 presidential election, would have a significant impact on the race, Democratic strategist Peter Fenn said after Edwards dropped out.

“You could make an argument that the change issue does benefit Barack Obama, that he picks up that support. You could also make the argument that there’s a lot of support out there amongst people that will go to Hillary,” he said. “The big issue here is who will he endorse.”

Some political pundits predicted that Edwards’ supporters are more likely to lean in Obama’s direction.

“The conventional wisdom is that Barack Obama will pick up maybe 60 percent of them, and in some places, that makes a huge difference,” former presidential adviser David Gergen said in January.

Hmmm…think Edwards is looking for a job in the new administration? 😉

Jenna Bush Gets Hitched

Jenna Bush, 26, was quietly married this weekend at the Bush family’s Crawford Ranch. The bride wore a white Oscar de la Renta gown and no veil. The press was not invited, but the White House released pictures late Sunday afternoon. Her grandparents, George H. W. Bush and Barbara, spoke at the ceremony.

Jenna wed Henry Hager, 30, less than one year after he proposed at dawn atop Cadillac Mountain in Acadia National Park on Maine’s coast. The couple were married around 7:30 p.m. Saturday evening.

From the AP:

Jenna’s twin sister, Barbara, was maid of honor and 14 other women were in her “house party.” Barbara Bush wore a long, moonstone blue dress with a low-cut back. The women in the “house party” were clad in seven different styles of knee-length dresses in seven different colors that match the palette of Texas wildflowers — blues, greens, lavenders and pinky reds.

The ceremony began about a half hour or so before sunset. The couple stood at a cross, made of beige colored Texas limestone, that was erected near the ranch’s man-made lake. The cross and altar, made of the same stone used to construct the Bush’s ranch house, will be a landmark at the ranch for years to come. The Rev. Kirbyjon Caldwell of Windsor Village United Methodist Church in Houston officiated.

Henry Hager met Jenna during her father’s 2004 re-election campaign. He graduated from Wake Forest University and worked as an aide to Bush’s former top political adviser Karl Rove. He is set to receive a master’s degree in business administration later this month from the University of Virginia’s Darden School of Business.

After the wedding, the couple is rumored to be honeymooning in Europe, although the White House would not comment. After that, they plan to live in a two-bedroom, two-bath town house on the south side of Baltimore. She plans to return to teaching and he will work for Constellation Energy, a power supplier based in Maryland.

You have to be impressed in how well Jenna has matured from her early days in the White House. She could have picked a huge, overpriced, gaudy wedding at the White House, but chose to keep it simple and away from the cameras.

By the way, why does their wedding cake look like the top is going to come tumbling off?

Congratulations to the happy couple!

News to Clinton: You Can’t Win

As Jimmy Kimmel and his panel of political experts the Worst Political Team on Television give their opinion on Clinton still winning the nomination, others have deemed that it’s over.

CBS News is only one of many media outlets that is calling the Democratic nomination. On yesterday’s evening news and their opinion section from the New Republic, expectation of Clinton winning the nomination is close to zilch when looking at her delegate or popular vote count.

Dan Payne of the Boston Globe agrees stating, “Hope is all she has left.”

Sam Donaldson also calls the race.

Bill Clinton, on the other hand, states that Hillary CAN win… sounds like someone needs a math lesson 😉

This video is from CBS news and includes commentary from former Dean Howard campaign manager, Joe Trippi:

Hillary – Don’t Go Away Mad (Just Go Away)

Although Clinton catches Indiana in yesterday’s primary, the delegate math still doesn’t add up for her to possibly win overall, and it hasn’t for a long time now. It makes me wonder who’s telling her that she still has a chance.

How come we all know that the race is over except Clinton? Don’t get me wrong, I love a good fight and the remaining states should have their chance to vote as well; however, I said I love a good fight…this is no fight. Ouch…

MSNBC has coverage about yesterday’s primaries and Obama as the perceived nominee here.

If you get upset over this video, than I guess you can’t figure out the delegate math either. Just take the video with a grain of salt and acknowledge the fact that this has been the most exciting primary race in decades.

Oregon Voter Hotline Leads to Phone Sex Line Instead

You want to know why Oregon has a record turn out in voting? You would think it’s because they have a mail-in ballot option; however, I think I’ve found another reason… 😉

from Stateline.org:

Oregonians who called a voter-information hotline recommended by Oregon Secretary of State Bill Bradbury reached a different sort of hotline — the kind that offers “an exciting new way to go live, one-on-one, with hot, horny girls” for just $2.99 a minute (99 cents for voice mails). The glitch came when Bradbury’s office accidentally switched the correct 866 toll-free area code to an 800 area code, The Oregonian reports. Bradbury released an apology statement and emphasized, “Don’t call that wrong number.”

Visit the Oregon Secretary of State Elections Division.